Red Hot Ruby's

The Art of Recovery

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Life Coach. Artist. Addiction Counselor. In long term recovery. Happy most of the time. Curious.
Schedule a coaching session or ask questions: redhotrubys@outlook.com

  • Alchemy

    OMG.  Can this subject be more elusive?  So, I’ve been learning about alchemy for a while now, several years, digging up history and millions of perspectives on this incredible topic so I can write a companion for this painting.   The Red Lion of Alchemy.

    I’ve struggled with the notion that alchemy can be translated into ONE word, and I think that the word change is just about right.  Well, at least that’s the word I started with and it’s a good one, but alchemy is also about refinement.  I like that word a lot too.  Alchemy is about taking something “fake” or even toxic and creating something incredibly valuable.  Historically, and I’m talking about some very ancient, multi-societal history dating back to the AD 200s, alchemy is a scientific process that attempts to turn lead into gold.  Literally.  Over time alchemy has become so much more to poets, artists, and spiritual teachers and those who think in metaphors and object lessons.  I love object lessons and so what I want to talk about here is spiritual alchemy.  

    This morning as I woke up from an amazing 12 hours of sleep, the thought came to me that I actually can re-write history.  You know, everyone tells you that you cannot, but the writers of grade school textbooks have been doing that forever, LOL, so here I go.

    Please understand, dear reader, that I’ve reached a spot in my life where my relationship with my personal power is changing, and I’ve realized that I have the power to rewrite my story, to rewrite history.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about lying to myself, compartmentalizing anything, or pretending.  What I am talking about may sound more like changing my definitions and while that idea leans in the right direction, that’s not quite it, so just listen.

    The stuff that *#cks me up the most is my own story that I tell myself about what has happened to me.  You know what I mean!  The stories that won’t let me go to sleep (let alone enjoy 12 hours of it) or the 2:00 a.m. tales of how my life is permanently fucked up, and no one cares.  Yes, THAT story. It’s not fair.  It should have been different.  I don’t deserve it.  True?  Maybe.  But what happens if I apply an alchemical process to this shit show of thoughts? 

    Because those are indeed all thoughts. MY OWN thoughts.  Most of which are dripping with fear and emotions and only a fraction of the story even if I were telling myself the truth.  Whatever that means.  And while a lot of these midnight thoughts are fake and toxic, they are real to me in the moment, weighing me down, creating a gravity that is hard to resist. 

    It’s the lead. 

    And this script is about alchemy . . . personal spiritual alchemy.  Changing.  Refining.  This is about taking the lead of my life and turning it into gold. 

    There are many stories to tell, but thankfully alchemy is an inclusive process and includes everything in the mix. 

    Allow me to be specific, but please insert your own details here. 

    I have, in my life, moved frequently. This is super hard for me to state as it’s really close to my heart.  I am more than anything a “home-body”.  I’ve hated it, been ashamed of it, told myself it was because I was a failure.  It has been excruciating and exhausting.  However, I am beginning to believe that all the times I have moved from what I felt was my home, are actually exercises in alchemy: Domestic alchemy.  I allow that my choices have sometimes been forced upon me or limited.  I forgive myself for not being more loving and nurturing to ME. 

    I’ve been lied to, misled, tricked.  Who hasn’t?  But is see this now as a chance for me to find what really is true and believe in myself: This is the alchemy of self-esteem.  The alchemy of forgiveness.  The ability to see that I am trustable.  Despite any other stories.

    Falling apart has been a chance to pick up all the beautiful pieces, my pieces, and rebuild stronger: Social alchemy.  Emotional alchemy. 

    Having a broken heart is a chance to stitch together a stronger one, a more flexible one, to mend the cracks with gold: the alchemy of love teaching me that I am stronger than I realize and I can love without conditions because that’s what the heart does best.

    My life has offered me a lot of lead. I am learning to see it as source material!  Because domestic security weighs less than fear, believing in myself is lighter and shiner than suspicion, mending can be done with golden glue, and forgiveness is filled with light! But remember!  You don’t start with gold . . . you end up with it.

    Art and words by me; Ruby Karen Annette Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC

    This original painting can by purchased here: The Red Lion of Alchemy Original Watercolor Painting, OOAK – Etsy

    I am accepting clients for my spiritual mentorship program. If you wish to realize your own alchemical process . . . please reach out to me using the form below. I would love to hear from you and I really mean it.

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  • BLACK AND WHITE THINKING

    Did you know that there are colors in the universe that the human eye cannot see? 

    Hey, don’t take my word for it, investigate it for yourself. 

    But, it’s true.

    What we see kind-of “blinds” us to what we do not see.  Think about that.  Think about how much we don’t know, how much we are incapable of knowing.

    If there is anything that modern science  can teach the average curious human, it’s that we don’t know a lot! But we act like we do, don’t we? 

    That’s exactly when we get into trouble.  When we act like we know something, but we don’t. (Well, now we’re uncomfortable.)  But WAIT!  Stick with the lesson here.  We are challenged to let go of knowing and seeing, being right, and realize that really, truly, WE DON’T KNOW. In fact, we cannot know. 

    But we know enough.  Not being right doesn’t mean being wrong.  Get it?

    That’s the lesson of this piece . . . I think. We know enough.  We see enough.  We have enough.  We ARE enough.  Right now.  This very moment that your eyes read this sentence.

    There is a method of thought called dialectics.  In its simplest definition, it means two people on opposite sides of any issue who see different sides. A lot like the story of three blind men walking a path who discover an elephant, each touching a different part of the beast, each individual convinced that they, not their fellow travellers, are the ones who know what the elephant REALLY is.  A trunk, a tail, a foot.  They are collectively right even though their individual experiences of the thing, their truth, is very different. 

    Dialectics teaches that the thing can be plaid and polka-dot and striped and checkered and a million shades of gray . . . and still be black and white.  (Like this painting.)

    NEVER OR ALWAYS.  EVERYONE OR NO ONE.  PASS OR FAIL.  RIGHT OR WRONG.  GOOD OR BAD.

    Can it be both?  Yes.  It absolutely can. 

    How beautiful is that?  See?

    Art and words by me; “Ruby” Karen Annette Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC

    Life Coach, now accepting online clients! Contact me for a free quote or ask for some snail-mail information. I would love to hear from you, please reach out.

    This original watercolor painting can be purchased here: Black and White Thinking. Hand Drawn OOAK Original Pen and Ink – Etsy

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  • LIGHT

    Have you ever held that first sacred cup of morning coffee, sat in the darkness and waited for the sunrise?  Watched how black and white silhouettes slowly filled with color as the light grew brighter? 

    This is daily magic.  Try it and see!

    It’s like darkness hosts the light . . .  holding hands with it at the beginning of every single day! 

    It’s almost like they need each other.

    As this page is written, if you peek at our traditional calendar, winter has just begun.  Simultaneously, aligning in perfect contrast, is the ancient celebration of solstice, the return of light.  This is a glorious paradox.

    The calendar winter says break out the parkas!  Find your boots.  Make sure there are enough clean wool socks in the drawer.  January is cold, February even colder.  Plan ahead.  Candles.  Batteries.  Chapped lips.  Studded tires.  Driving to work in the dark.  Driving home in the dark.  Lots of darkness.

    Endless fuel for depression.   

    Solstice, however, reminds us to celebrate light.  In the darkest time of the year.  Yup.  Right there.

    Because this is NOT about flipping a switch: light versus dark . . . on or off. Dark bad/light good. Celebrating light MUST mean celebrating dark also.  This is not about getting rid of darkness, so much as honoring it and allowing it to be.  Respecting darkness.  Our darkest days are restful containers of hibernation and recuperation.  Our calendar can remind us that there is time for this stillness embedded in all cycles.

    Did you know that our brain chemistry requires sunlight and darkness to function chemically?  Your brain needs both light and dark. These processes support mood, memory, and sleep.  Our brain, our bodies, we ourselves . . .

    . . . need both. 

    Just like a sunrise. 

    Hmmmm. 

  • BLOOM

    Bloom where you are planted. 

    Right where you are.  Right where you are in your life, your relationships, your job, your education, your finances, your mistakes and your progress. That’s right!  Right here.  Right now.

    Have you ever discovered a flower blossoming in an unexpected place or time?  In the crack of a sidewalk or a dirty parking lot?  In the winter when nothing else seems alive?  Blooming at the wrong time.  Blooming in the wrong spot.  Daisies do that.  Dandelions too.  They bloom where they are planted.  We wonder how that happened, or how they got there, and isn’t it beautiful? This beautiful mistake.  The beauty in the ugly place. 

    A wildflower is amazing!

    But we humans can find a million reasons not to bloom. We see mistakes and bad timing and hurdles, roadblocks. Surrounded by dirt or shadows, poor lighting, the mess you did not make, or endless chaos.  Again.  Because you’ve already tried.  Hard.  Said all the things.  Did all the things.  We’ll start when things are different than this pile of garbage.

    But consider the idea that repeated efforts are natural and the mistakes an important part of your growth.  The timing is not something to be overcome but incorporated.  Even welcomed!  The hurdle is the answer to our prayer. The shadows shelter the lessons. (If you squint, you can see them.) 

    Did you know that wind makes flowers stronger?

    Because the mistake and the dirt and the chaos are fertilizer.  They are necessary.  NECESSARY FERTILIZER!

    The only thing there is to do is to simply bloom right there.  Just a tiny bloom in that ridiculous place.  With that speck of light.  With that fertilizer. 

    I know you’ve heard it before, but you are hearing it again, because THAT’S THE POINT!  Bloom with what you have right now, not despite everything, but actually because of everything, along with everything, take everything with you!  As Dolly Parton sings, “wildflowers don’t care where they grow” and “have no regrets”. 

    This is your patch of dirt.  Right here.  This is where you’ve been planted.

    Be like the wildflower and bloom. 

    Words and art by me; Ruby. This original watercolor can be purchased here: BLOOM Original Watercolor Painting OOAK – Etsy

    Have a question? Need someone to talk to? I am taking new clients for my online life coaching services beginning January 2026. I would LOVE to hear from you! Please fill out the form below and I will get right back to you! Blessings and love from Miss Ruby.

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  • LOVE

    The topic of love has been written about, sung about, talked about, theorized, commercialized, monetized, and fought over forever.  This writer will not pretend to know what the “right” definition is, I don’t believe that there is one, but many.  I like thinking about it. Just like you!  I think that love may indeed behave organically, shifting to some degree, evolving in a way that defies words.  Love may be a language that only the heart can hear and speak.  Love is an energy.  But the variety of descriptions and expressions has great value, so let’s consider some of them.

    In writing this companion script for my painting about love, I chased many definitions.  Many have value and should be considered.  But I come back to a line in the book “All about love” by powerhouse author bell hooks.  She describes love as “a combination of trust, commitment, care, respect, knowledge and responsibility”.  She is not speaking exclusively of romantic love, although these qualities must certainly be foundationally present for a romantic relationship to succeed long term.  This is about loving as a daily practice in ALL our interactions. For example, if I accept the above as a descriptive of love, then I certainly love my job, the people with me in traffic, and of course, my family.  That’s a think.

    But what about practicing these values on myself? Self-love is vital. Let’s re-write this as an inventory, let’s use this as a mirror.  It will go something like this: Do I trust myself?  Am I committed to myself?  Do I care about myself?  Do I respect myself?  Do I know myself?  Am I responsible for myself?

    Now that’s some love right there. 

    Art and words by me; Ruby Karen A. Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC, Life Coach

    This original watercolor can be purchased here: Angel Heart OOAK Original Watercolor Painting – Etsy

    I am taking clients for my online Life Coaching practice beginning January 2026. You matter to me and I would LOVE to support your journey. Please reach out to me using the form below with any questions or comments. Blessings!

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  • ACCEPTANCE

    From the Big Book of AA, page 426 in my copy (this artist’s favorite paragraph BTW):

    “And acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be change in me and in my attitudes.”

    Well. There it is then.

    I often teach about acceptance. That’s a tough one, because included in this teaching is the simple truth that if you practice acceptance . . .if you REALLY practice acceptance . . . then you have to accept a lot of “uncomfortable” truths about what happens in your daily life, your family, your job, the mess in the kitchen, this planet.

    So, you may justifiably ask, what are you supposed to do about all this?

    Well, you accept that you are uncomfortable.

    I accept that I do not like this answer.

    Thank you for reading this far.

    Words and art from the heart of Ruby.

    This original watercolor is for sale here: ACCEPTANCE OOAK Watercolor Painting – Etsy

    Remember, Miss Ruby loves you very much.

    I am accepting new zoom clients in my Life Coaching service beginning January 2026. Please reach out with any questions or concerns via email at redhotrubys@outlook.com.

  • PEACE

    Peace.

    So, I’ve been following the 2025 Walk for Peace originating in Fort Worth Texas. Have you been watching? Beginning at Huong Dao Vipassana Bhavana Center on Oct. 26, a small group of Buddhist monks and their rescue dog Aloka, began their 120 day, 2300 mile walk with many stops along the way to share their message of peace.

    This effort came across my Instagram feed and it’s all I can focus on right now. Seriously, this breaks me apart. I cannot watch any of their posts without crying. It just touches me so deeply. The monks intend to walk to Washington DC. Right now, they are walking. In the winter.

    Here we are at such a trying time in history.

    Everyone seems mad at or afraid of everyone else.

    Here we are at the holidays.

    Where is the peace?

    I painted the above piece about peace several years ago and have been compelled to post it here on my shiny new web page for a while, but I’ve been waiting for the right words to come along. Well, they came along this morning, when I read them on today’s Walk for Peace update. To quote; “inner peace does not require outer peace”.

    INNER PEACE DOES NOT REQUIRE OUTER PEACE

    Okay, that’s not all they said, but these words echo in my heart.

    To quote participant and Buddhist monk Bhante Pannakara, they are walking “to raise the awareness of peace, lovingkindness, and compassion that our world and our country will be healed. To spread lovingkindness to everyone and join us by walking mentally with us every day. Take out a piece of paper and write; today is going to be my peaceful day. Do everything one task at a time. Breathe in and breathe out, this is the lovingkindness meditation. If you could do that every day, then your day will be peaceful.”

    Please follow them with me at walkforpeace.usa or find them on instagram. I’m going to walk with them mentally and practice inner peace one step at a time.

    Join me.

    Ruby

    Art and words by Ruby Karen A. Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC

    I am taking new clients at my Life Coaching service beginning January 2026. I would love to support you in your unique journey. Please reach out to me with any questions or concerns via email at redhotrubys@outlook.com

    This original watercolor painting, entitled Peace, is available for purchase here: PEACE OOAK Original Watercolor Painting – Etsy

  • WAIT

    This piece defied my usual inspirational flow.  I named and renamed it numerous times, but until the word “wait” came to me, no other name seemed to fit the energy that I felt when I see it. In fact, this message continues to work its magic as I type, as I really wanted to post about peace today.

    Nope. Wait.

    My dad is a Baptist minister and one of the important things he taught me was that God always answers prayers in one of three ways; yes, no, and wait.  A bit of a bible verse I treasure is “she also helps who sits and waits”. 

    Waiting is helping.

    Waiting is valuable. 

    Waiting is hard.

    Did you know that the seeds of the baobab tree take three years to germinate?  I feel like a baobab seed sometimes, but I imagine that those patient seeds do not tell themselves that they want to grow faster, like the story I tell myself.  As a woman in long term recovery from the disease of addiction, I struggle with wanting things right now.  Hence, of course, my lesson is learning to wait.  

    But not just the unglamorous sit-on-my-hands-and-grumble kind of waiting, but instead, waiting beautifully.  I want to wait with style. 

    I know that when I wait . . . I am helping.

    I know that when I wait . . . I am growing.

    Thank you for reading.

    Please reach out with any comments or questions. I would love to hear from you.

    At your own time of course.

    Art and words by Ruby Karen A. Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC

    Artist and Life Coach

    Taking new clients in January 2026

    redhotrubys@outlook.com

    This original is for sale here: WAIT OOAK Original Watercolor Painting – Etsy

  • DIVERSITY

    I cannot imagine our world without diversity. 

    Not just external diversity, but internally as well.  We think of this word as describing racial or gender identities, but those things are important because of the depth of their meaning, not because of superficial easily observed things.  Consider the evidence around us, the value for diversity that our very planet demonstrates, in fact, it is vital to our existence.  The varieties of plant life, sea life, the colors and forms are uncountable, and we continue to discover more. 

    What would we do without diversity, abundance, a multitude of beings?  Our world quite simply would not work; it could not function without diversity.  

    Not every animal can be a giraffe.  Not every plant can be a daisy.  Animals cannot live without plants nor can plants live without animals.  The diversity of light and dark, color and texture, sound and vibration. 

    All are essential. 

    This being the ultimate example, neither can our human species continue to exist without diversity.  Deeper than race and gender, variety of experience and world view is a treasure to be protected and cherished!  What a dreadful existence life would be if we were all the same. 

    To protect diversity is to be inclusive, curious, respectful, kind, gentle.  To give space to all. 

    Period. 

    We must if we wish to continue to exist. 

    Art and words by Ruby Karen A. Wilcox, CRP, AGS, CADC

    Artist and Life Coach, taking new clients January 2026, please reach out to me through email at redhotrubys@outlook.com. I would LOVE to support your journey!

    This original is for sale here: DIVERSITY OOAK Original Watercolor Painting – Etsy

  • CHOICE

    From the Big Book of AA, I was inspired to paint this piece which I call “Choice”. 

    It would be lovely to read all of chapter 2 as the author is talking about that fleeting moment between thought and action. The buildup is good!  The context is helpful.  But there’s a sentence on page 24 of my version of the Big Book that stopped me in my tracks.  It says, “The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer (insert your drug of choice here) do not crowd into the mind to deter us.” 

    But what if they did?  What if that crowd of reasons showed up when we experience that little chill of temptation?   What would that crowd look like?  What would the crowd say?

    We always reach a point, many points in our lives where there are both a crowd of reasons to relapse and a crowd of reasons not to.  The amazing thing is that these crowds have many similarities: Grief, confusion, happiness, heartbreak, growth, beauty, the unexpected.  Ah the paradox of living in recovery.  What was once a relapse trigger is now a joy.  What used to confuse us is now inspiration.  Everything is a freaking lesson!

    The Big Book also says that “the fear of people will leave us”.  I would expand that to say that the fear of triggers will leave us because we learn the power of choice.  We learn to trust, first by trusting the process, the teachers, the text . . . then we realize we can trust ourselves.  We stop pretending like the crowd isn’t there, instead, we turn around and look.  We listen. We’ve made friends with our crowd.

    When I was drinking, I used to imagine how wonderful it would be to hire someone to follow me around and make sure I would stay out of trouble.  I didn’t know then what is obvious to me now: that person is me.

    Because that “crowd of reasons” is right there.  All the time.  It’s always been there.  We just haven’t thought about them, looked at them, honored them. 

    But we can.  We can choose to. 

    The crowd doesn’t change much.

    But we can. 

    Words and art by Ruby Karen A. Wilcox, this original is for sale here: Choice. Original OOAK Watercolor Painting. Unmatted, Unframed. – Etsy

    I am accepting new zoom clients for my Life Coaching practice, beginning in January 2026. I would LOVE to support your journey! Please reach out to me via email at redhotrubys@outlook.com.

WHAT IS A LIFE COACH?

A life coach is a professional mentor who partners with clients to identify personal or professional goals, create actionable plans, and overcome obstacles through motivation and accountability. Unlike therapists, they focus on the present and future to help clients improve relationships, careers, and daily life.

It’s a tough time on this planet right now, isn’t it?  We are bombarded with fear-based messaging and invitations to panic.  Some of us feel it more than others, that’s for sure. 

And while it’s normal to feel scared, anxious,  angry, guilty or all of the above, it’s not necessary to live in that space, to be overwhelmed and  controlled by negativity. There is something you can do to change those experiences and feel safe.  In truth, there are a lot of somethings you can do! 

Do you need someone to listen to you and help you make some sense of your thoughts? 

Let’s turn down the fear-based noise and make some sense of it together.  You can find ways that help you calm your thoughts, relax your body, and even sleep better.  Yup!  I said it . . . Sleep better!

Let’s work together to create a unique, affordable healing plan that suits your unique personal values and history . . . a simple, realistic plan that you really feel good about!

Yes.  It will take some time, so the sooner you call, email, or text, the sooner we can begin.  Questions are always welcome!  Please reach out using the contact form below.

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